I see you.

18423024_1608624089165843_7886196313578084866_oDear mom,
I see you.

I saw you the day you first noticed something. Something that made your child seem different, that something that didn’t line up with the development books. I saw you on the phone with the doctors who assured you things were alright. I saw you continue to press on, trusting your gut, full of worry, remaining optimistic.

I saw you the day someone spoke the words that took your breathe away, the day you were certain that the world stopped turning. The day when dreams of the future and well thought out wedding fantasies were shattered with words like “life expectancy” and “quality of life.”

I saw the tears pouring down your face each time you mourned what your child had lost. I saw the way your eyes watered when you held your child close, trying to memorize every detail hoping to lock away the way their soft skin felt and the sound of their breathe in your heart forever.

I saw you the nights where you jumped out of bed at the sound of the seizures. When you sat though the crying episodes praying for relief, hoping the next stop was not the hospital.

I saw you the times you felt too exhausted to carry on. The times you were certain you could not fight anymore, but you got up again.

I want you to know, I see you. I see you love unconditionally and unselfishly receiving nothing in return. I see the sleepless nights and the showerless days. I see the hours of research, the countless phone calls and the barrage of paperwork.

I see you. And for all of the days when you feel like you can no longer carryon, the times you are certain that I had made a mistake choosing you to love and advocate for your child. I want you to remember, I see you.

I don’t make mistakes. I made you for this.

I made you incapable on your own strength but completely dependent on mine. I made you to show the world what strength through great pain can look like. I made you to give a voice to the voiceless. I made you to share with the world that every life is priceless and can bring me glory. I made you to love me and love others.

I see you. I see all of you.

I made you for this.

Love,

Your Father
The King of Kings
The creator of heaven and earth

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10

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