Because today I write in sorrow, my sadness is all the greater that I did not spend more time celebrating with you all that was wonderful in my world. So I will start there. Last fall shortly after starting school, we began wrestling. Wrestling with what Elena’s best days looked like. What provided her the most value and what we could do to help her light shine to the best of all abilities. And since we saw illness as a major obstacle that caused her to miss a significant amount of school time and then therapy time, and since she had back to back pneumonias the first few weeks into school, we decided to pursue a schedule that increased therapies and offered Elena school at home through google classroom.
This has been one of the most beneficial decisions that we have ever made for Elena. I would love to be able to take credit for it but that would not be appropriate. This was an amazing collaboration from the school district, an idea from Elena’s caseworker and an answer to prayer.
Dear Lord, Help us find the right environment for Elena to thrive and for the world to see all that is within her. To you be all the glory.
Sometimes, it really is that easy. When the answers to our prayers come, all we have to do is reap the sweet rewards of His blessings that are so freely lavished on us. We might not be sure of how things will work out, but the path seems bright and promising. The path is open and free from obstruction. You can see all of the rewards clearly, maybe you can even see the end and all of its benefits. We said yes.
Elena thrived these last few months. She was healthy. She fought off colds. She had more intentional school/therapy time in the last few months than in the last years. She was free from pneumonia for 5 months!!!!
We had no idea that it would be this good.
But sometimes, it is not easy at all. Sometimes when the path appears you are certain that it goes to somewhere you didn’t want to go. The path might be dark, and you are unsure of what the other end looks like because there are so many abrupt turns. You can see that this path is going to cause you pain. The thick and thorny brush that is overgrown on the sides is sure to leave a mark. There is no way that you can go through this unscathed.
But this is the path that was given.
This path might be marked with words that evoke your greatest fears. Words that take you places that you never want to go. Maybe because of the unknown. Maybe because of what you have experienced or watched others go through. This path will hurt.
But this is the path that was given. You were not given a choice.
So you say yes.
But on this path because it is dark and you are frightened you cry out to God. You walk on in faith. You are beat up and bloodied from fighting though the thorny bushes of your greatest fears. They try to pull you in and trap you holding you captive unable to move on. You feel as if you have no strength to go on. And so you cry out to God.
Before you know it you can see the light. The path is beginning to clear. You have emerged with some new scars, your face is dirty and stained with tears. But as you look back at all that you just went through, with an overwhelming joy at all that has been overcome, you cry out,
“I had no idea that HE was this good.”
It has been through some of the darkest times that I have found the sweetest intimacy with my Father in heaven. May your greatest trials and your unchosen path be the source of your greatest blessing. May you find great privilege in the walk He has called you to. Let your cry of your heart be a hymn of praise as you realize just how deep and far and wide His unending love it for you.
He leads me down paths of righteousness for his names sake. Psalm 23:3
Please pray for my sweet girl, she does have pneumonia but we are praying and trusting God for her quick healing.